(no subject)

[akeyoftime]

It took an hour and a half to crash today! Score! I am on the mend!

(And it's true: it's half an hour more than I got out of yesterday.)

Edit: So here's the thing. My dad's a workaholic. He always has been. To the point he doesn't understand why anyone would choose a balanced life. It's one of the many, many disagreing philosophies we hold on life, the universe and everything. My chest feels like it's caved in. My core strength is at its lowest since March, though it hasn't managed to dip quite that low yet, thank god. Trouble is, he will never understand that. I don't look sick. Part of him gets that I have limits, but I'm supposed to be a good little workaholic too and sacrifice everything for work. If I say "Can't do it" and go to the Solstice Dance tonight, he won't get it. If I go to work this afternoon, I'm not only going to be forced to skip the dance (or if I do go, it will be such a bad idea), I'll probably have to take more time off tommorow. AND HE WON'T FUCKING GET IT. To him, my illness is an inconvenience, something I should just endure until the weekend and then I can rest. He's tired too, so I should just buck up. Much as I'm having trouble finding a balance between resting and helping with my mother, at least she understands the need for a middle ground. So goddamned frustrating!

Comments

[tremere-anarch.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, my advise (which you should likely not take too seriously) is tell skip work and go to the dance. If your dad gives you any trouble, tell him that a) you aren't him and need the break from work and b) you deserve to have a little fun and are therefor going to the dance.
He won't like it, but you've got to do what is best for yourself. If you wear yourself out too much you are going to completely burn out. Trust me, I know. I'm on day 14 without a day off and am functioning off of nothing but coffee and stolen energies (but only from people who can spare it).

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

I've already told him that. I'm not going to claim I have this balance thing down perfectly (hahahahahaha), I know enough that if I don't see people, I get miserable and that gaming alone isn't enough. Besides, I'm flirting with a loss of core strength and I could feel the warnings of a full-blown pain flare-up at work yesterday. I like to please, but not *that* much. (I'm a Caregiver, not a Martyr :P)

[tremere-anarch.livejournal.com]

Good. I don't want you to hurt yourself (lol, defender nature). Take care, center yourself, and get out tonight. I get the whole depressed when not seeing people thing too... gaming *helps* but doesn't fix it.

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

Gaming is general the fixed feature that keeps me from going absolutely crazy when I forget the rest.

*hugs* Thank you.

[tremere-anarch.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You're welcome.

SYMPATHY!

[theclevermonkey.livejournal.com]

I had a similar problem when I was recovering from my depression/anxiety disorder. My father couldn't get why my scheduel was driving me out of my gourd.

Depression doesn't react well to a 60 hour week.

[partytodamascus.livejournal.com]

i'm ignoring the "get some rest and see people you like!" part of me for the time being, but i seem to run on willpower alone. i don't understand it either.
you need rest and loving and fun and naps and tea.
take a week off?
or a few days, please!
we need you chipper! it is all that is holding the universe together!

[sevarem.livejournal.com]

Look, you have to do what's best for you. If your dad doesn't understand, too bad for him. When it gets right down to it, you have to live your life, he's not living it for you and if he doesn't like it, tough.

Besides, being a workaholic is awful. There's so much more to life than killing yourself at a job. Take the afternoon off and enjoy your solstice dance.

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

You're right and it's what I did. I needed to burn off frustration. I always argue that my father and I would get along better if I were lazy, because at least then he could understand it and whip me into shape. I think my desire to work a regular day's hours and stop there, even if I haven't finished every bitty thing, confuses him.

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Re: SYMPATHY!

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

No, I can't imagine it would.

Thank you for sympathy :) *hugs*