(no subject)

[akeyoftime]

I meant to start the year off with these, but got sidetracked. I've been back east since late on the first, but have been in travel since the 30th. (We got in a bit of skiing upisland, yipee!) Since I got back I've been putting around the suite and babying my jetlag. Anyway, on to the Christmas cracker jokes! (Bilingual edition)


What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands? Your breath.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree could kill you? A pool table.

Que demande un douanier à un chocon qui passe la frontière? Un passe-porc!
Une pomme est rouge, jaune, et verte. Comment l'appelle-t-on? On la pèle avec un couteau!
Quel est le fruit préféré d'un policier? Les amandes!
Et parce que c'est vachement mauvais et drôle seulement à cause de ça...
Pourquoi la gifare a-t-elle un cou aussi long? Parce que ses pieds puent!

Comments

[seize.livejournal.com]

So where I'm from there are a number of plants they plant in winter gardens to add a little color. One of the familiar ones are pansies, which also get a lot of play in the more temperate months, but there are also a number of members of the Brassica family (the cabbage family) that get planted. They come in lots of different colors and shapes and, interestingly enough, are all edible in a pinch.

So anyway, I was driving down the street and came across a specimen of just such plant which had fallen off a truck or otherwise murdered and rolled into the road.

It was road kale.

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

Okay, so Cinderella decides to join a baseball team. She gets all kitted out and is really excited when shows up for her first game. Except she's terrible. Her teammates are despairing, but one of them points out that they can't really blame her, you know? Her coach is a pumpkin and she's always running away from the ball.

[lilbellule.livejournal.com]

Ha! I love the Subordinate Clauses one. That will definitely be added to my arsenal.

Now, a question about one of the French ones. From my (very) limited remembering, the second one reads "An apple is red, yellow and green. What do you call it?" Care to translate/explain the punchline for me? 'Avec un couteau' is 'with a knife', but that's all I get. I know jokes don't often work across language lines, but I'd like to know anyway!

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

Subordinate Clauses is my favourite the bunch.

The french joke you had a hard time with is playing with similar sounds. "Appelle" and "la pèle" would be pronounced nearly identically.

[lilbellule.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhh, I see! :D

It's interesting how in English we can also have wordplay with that same word - 'a peel' and 'appeal.'

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

"a peel" translates nicely, in both verb and noun form, but "appeal" is actually not the same as "appelle", which is closer to the verb "to name".

[raincloudboy.livejournal.com]

oh man you are so canadian. <3

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

No, that's if I was telling jokes about nine beavers pissing on a frog. THAT'S so Canadian ;)

[raincloudboy.livejournal.com]

hahaha

man, cheesy french puns are Pretty Canadian, though. especially as part of a bilingual post.

however, you are the Best Canadian. well, you kind of have to share that title or Andrea would kill me, but you still get the medal.

what is your icon? it is completely amazing.

[akeyoftime.livejournal.com]

I don't want the medal if I have to SHARE. Can you imagine the custody battles? This is a mighty big country and as such, they could be really far too epic and I don't trust Canada Post all that much and not really couriers either.

I have no idea, but I like it pretty well too!

[raincloudboy.livejournal.com]

okay, you each get half a la solomon.